To my grandma I love the most

So, I woke up today thinking about my life. It's been 23 years now since I just was born. I've been trying to live and forget many things that I regret now because I did them. However, regretting will not help at all. I cry sometimes and I wish I could go back but I can't. I can't change the things I did once. And it is easy to say I'm sorry but that does not help at all.

I remember that I once made my grandma to feel bad. That day I was going out with my friends and I told her not to go with me because I was feeling ashamed of her. She was just speechless when I said that to her. My heart got broken into little pieces. Since that moment I promised to myself not to make her feel bad again because it hurts to know that you are hurting the person that would do anything for you.

My grandma is the most wonderful person I've ever known. She has been willing to help me all this time. Giving me her support and showing me that love has no boundaries. I believe that love is unconditional, because love is precious, love is blind and sometimes it might be selfish.  She has been there for me forever and I can't imagine my life without her.  Basically, she raised me up and made the person I am. 

When I think about the moments that I made her cry I just would like to hit myself for being a fucking asshole that does not appreciate the effort and support she always have gave me starting since she took me out of the hospital to take care of me since I was born and that makes me feel bad as well because I fuck up sometimes and I have learned to love her.

Nowadays, I have changed my perspective about her love towards me and my love towards her. Our relation has become better since I realized that she meant everything to me. I was dreaming one of these days that she was dead. I woke up crying because I felt that dream so real that I couldn't imagine being without her. Since that moment I told myself to behave and to be there just for her.

My main point here is that we have to appreciate the fact that sometimes we are not good enough with the person that has given everything just to be there for you. We need to appreciate those little details they have with us it does not matter if it is a big or a small act of love. Love them and give them the best from you because you don't know if you will see them again another day.

Most likely today they are alive but what about tomorrow? We don't know

Love that person that have been there all this time for you.